Saturday, July 30, 2016

Yards are dumb

I hate yard work!  I mean, I really hate yard work!  But then, who actually enjoys it? Do people actually enjoy planting colorful flowers?  Do they actually like being outside or something?  Inconceivable!

The observant reader may wonder why I am complaining about something so mundane and every-day-boring on a blog that is supposed to be about science, policy, and related topics.  Yes, part of it is that I had to get up and mow the lawn today, and I hated every second of it.  However, there is an argument here about the pure pointlessness of yard work that may slightly resemble my usual preachings.

Basically, maintaining a yard is a colossal waste of energy.  Think about it.  We use however many gallons of water, which expends energy, every week to water our yards, just so that grass will grow tall so that we can then use more energy to make the grass short again.  I mean, if aliens were to observe us, they may think we're insane.  Or stuck in an infinite loop of some kind. And what's the purpose of such a yard?  For dogs to poop in??  As a place for people to step in dog poop?

Okay, okay, those of you with children may say that it's nice for kids to have a place to play in.  I suppose this argument works, but would it really be much worse for kids to play in a rock garden?  It'll toughen them up to roll around in a pile of sharp rocks instead of soft grass.  Of course, they may very well feel deprived of some crucial aspect of childhood development, which would then lead to therapist visits, and medical bills, and disorders associated with early childhood grasslessness.

Another argument that could be made for yards is to have a place to have parties and cookouts. Sure, this may be true, but what's wrong with having these events on hot, black asphalt?  Or in the mud? I'd much prefer that then the soft feeling of grass under my feet.

Whew!  Now that that's off my chest, I need to go spread some weed-and-feed...

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